Thursday, April 26, 2007

Hidden Agenda

Love is a complicated thing. But is TRUE love really that complicated? Everybody goes through a tough period in a relationship. We all go through the stage where our mate does something we don’t agree with; like leaving the toilet seat up or talking to an old friend that you really don’t want them talking to. If trust is a main factor in a relationship, then where does love come in? If there are so many different factors to defining a relationship what’s the point? I should might as well be dating my mom if I need somebody to trust and love me and to tell me that I’m doing something wrong. Is just saying that you are my boy/girlfriend enough to establish a relationship and then months later decide to set rules for dating?

Many people think that the way to a person’s heart is doing all the stuff that he or she likes to get them to notice you and take their breath away. So after doing all of this why do people get mad because their mate wants them to keep doing those things for them and you think that it’s asking too much. You are basically tricking them into a relationship and them blame them for all the things that you won’t do because you don’t think it’s necessary for you to keep doing them; you already have them so what’s the point right? Trust is being yourself and not always thinking the worst of your partner. If you are constantly breaking them down because of your insecurities then how can YOU be trusted? I think we all should be upfront with the person you are trying to pursue and stop trying to impress them with things that you wouldn’t normally do. Because in the long run you’re only hurting yourself… and you can never find true love that way.


Nodie said...

hey Tiffany,
i really like your blogs, but this one inparticular, because sometimes i feel i cant trust the person im with, but if i cant trust him, then why be with him.maybe i need to learn how trust him a little more. i think i just have trust issues in general. anyways keep writting good blogs, cause i like reading them. they make think about the things i never thought about before. :)

Derek John Boczkowski said...


I really appreciate your style (voice) here. You may want to relax the rehtorical question muslce a little, though. It's a good device for exploring the landscapes of relationship--hey, Carrie from Sex and the Cityuses it, after all--but it can get repetitive and lose effect. Also, try finding links that address the questions you do ask.



Anonymous said...

In response to "Hidden Agenda," I must say that it is an interesting topic and that love is, in fact complicated. It is a complicated word, let alone a complicated feeling. How can love be defined? Does love actually exist period? It is such an abstract word that has no definite definition because of all the different perceptions of it. And love as a feeling, well, what does love feel like? Is it when it feels like tiny needles are piercing through my skin slowly digging their way into my stomach because I miss somebody? Or better yet, is love using my fingers to help my significant other throw up her food so that she does not have to get her fingers dirty? These both are extreme examples; and perhaps, I just have not experienced true love. But as you say, Tiffany, it is such a complicated term (and feeling?) that can it really be experienced.

People toss around the word love: I love my dog; I love my watch; I love your tank top; I love drinking milk until I vomit. And about the trust issue, I trust my dog; I trust my watch will tell me the right time; I trust that your tank top will always look good on you; and I trust that if I try to drink a gallon of milk in under an hour that I will puke. This is definitely not love by any real sentimental value.

I prefer to claim love to be an illusion. It is there if you are magically persuaded to believe that it is actually being experienced, whether or not it actually is. I do agree that trust is THE key to a relationship; but this does not mean love is there. One has to completely surrender themselves and place themselves in a never-turning-back place--over what? an illusion?

And isn't it ironic how with the illusion of love, hate follows right behind? One second you "love" somebody and the next you "hate" them. One second your smile is so big that it appears your mouth as been carved from ear to ear; and the next you are ready to do some carving. These emotions, feelings, words, illusions--whatever they are--are, indeed, complicated. No, they are more than complicated--love only exists in the minds of those ready to give in to emotions. Does this make a person weak? giving up and giving in? I do not think so; but still, how can I trust that you (somebody) actually loves me when it is too complicated for me to figure out myself. Ah, I love writing about this because I can write about anything--love can be anything or nothing--it is all the illusion.

Thanks for your blog Tiffany.